“I can’t go with you,”  I said to my oldest son.

Jonathan was struggling being away from me, heading into the 2 year old class at pre-school.

My heart was in my throat.

I knew that God was watching over him, but that did not stop my tears from falling.

I wanted him to have something that he could hold onto when I was not in his sights.

The concept of carrying Jesus in his heart seemed a bit too much for him to grasp at this tender age.  

So I sent a Jesus he could carry with him instead.

His own personal Jesus.

Now if you are in my age bracket and a music fan, you will understand why some of my girlfriends found this amusing.

When looking for anything that would give him comfort, I came across this plush Nativity set.

If I am being completely honest, it was really Joseph I sent with my son, not Jesus.  

Desperate moms take desperate measures.

So I packed Joseph, I mean Jesus, in his tiny backpack to remind him that Jesus was with him even when I was not.  

It gave me some comfort as well.

That was 16 years ago.

Graduation is a month away, with college right around the corner.

“I can’t go with you,”  I say to myself.

I am struggling at the thought of being away from him.  He is going where I cannot follow.

My heart is in my throat once again.

I know that God will be watching over him, but that does not stop my tears from falling.

I need something to hold onto when he is no longer in my sights.

He grasps the concept of carrying Jesus in his heart now, and that gives me peace.

He has Him in his heart wherever he goes.  And so do I.

So I will hold onto the promise that nothing can ever separate him from His love or mine.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8 : 38-39