“When did we get the papers?”
The question posed by my husband was seemingly harmless, but I framed it a completely different way in my head.
I felt like I was on the witness stand.
There was no “we” in this scenario.
I was the one who got the papers.
I was the one who had missed a section to complete.
Even though our conversation was over the phone, I could clearly see his eyes rolling at me from his office.
It was my fault.
And so before my morning coffee, I became that version of myself that I try to keep at bay.
The one who forgets to lead with love and grace, and focuses on what is happening around me.
This side of me quickly becomes defensive and insecure.
At the core is just a little girl in a woman’s body trying to do everything right and does not always feel like she measures up.
Maybe I am not alone in my doubts.
Do you wage battle in your mind in the territory of worthiness?
By the world’s standards, there are many ways we fall short.
But God does not see us as the world sees us, or even as we see ourselves.
He only sees us through the eyes of His great love.
We tend to look at our circumstances and surroundings.
Paul could have easily done that while he was in prison.
He could have felt unworthy, insecure or angry at his situation.
Paul reminds us in Ephesians 4: 2 of the calling we have to “be humble and gentle; patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your great love.”
I am so grateful for my husband’s patience with me, and more importantly for the Father’s patience with us all.
Insecurity can shift our focus inward instead of upward.
Paul could have focused on himself, but he framed his situation in a different way and pointed to the Creator.
“When I think of the wisdom and scope of God’s plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will give you the mighty inner strength through His Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then, you will be filled with the fullness of life and the power that comes from God.”
May your roots go deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love, friends so that you might share it with others.