It was a moment.
A moment when I was sure if anyone witnessed what was unfolding, they would have revoked my nomination for the Mother of the Year award.
No nominations here.
Just a mom doing the best she can.
And this was a moment when my frustration and emotions got the better of me.
Start with a teenage boy with an attitude.
Insert “the tone” here.
If you have a teenage son, there is no explanation needed.
Add a runaway dog that you offered to watch for a friend.
Factor in that same son, who did not want to make the trip with you anyway, is now covered in mud.
Stomping back through the woods with “escapee’ back on his leash, my son’s anger could not be contained.
The exchange of words brought me to tears.
As we made our way back to the car, I completely disintegrated.
These were the words I whispered to my red faced son:
“I must be the worst mom in the world for you to think it is ok for you to speak to me in this way.
I thought I had taught you better.”
I am even crying as I am writing this.
It was such an ugly, raw moment.
And a long car ride home.
He reassured me that I was not the worst mom in the world and that he loved me.
He apologized for the attitude and overreacting.
I apologized for getting emotional and yelling.
As soon as we exited the car at home, he put his arms around me and told me he loved me.
Even in my worst moments, that kid loves me.
But I have to admit, in my worst moments, I do not feel loveable.
That is why God’s love is so remarkable to me.
I am the child with the attitude somedays.
I get “the tone” with those around me.
When things do not turn out the way I have pictured in my head, I stomp around in frustration.
And all the while, I wonder if God looks at me, shakes His head and asks the same question.
Didn’t I teach you better, child?
In those moments, I choose to ignore what I have been taught and focus on how I feel.
But despite all of this, the Creator of the Universe loves me.
Friends, God knows us.
He sees our best days and our worst days.
And even on our worst days, He still chose to send His son to die for us.
He reassures us with His word.
“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Romans 5: 8
Our Heavenly Father knew long before we breathed our first breath, He would have these moments with us.
Even when we think we are unloveable, God’s love remains unchanging.
His arms are always open, ready to embrace us with His grace.
Even on our worst days.